*Cruel-Alchemist

Cruel

10:00PM



Before I explain the title, I'm going to get into a few life-related things. First, thank you Nanashi and SumiHatake for the subscriptions! I LOVE YOU BOTH! I hate this new version of dA with a burning-like-gential-herpes passion and I GOT A JEEP! It's name is Hakuryu too TwT

Moving on. This whole journal is pointless unless you need a pick-me-up, or simply are ready for a good laugh that may break your lungs and brain. Allana and I did a script-format RPG where Kakashi was tricked into an intervention that will try to heal his addiction to pineapples. Beware, you WILL loose brain cells if you read this, but let's just hope it's unimportant stuff like what your parental unit just told you or the answers to the test in class tomorrow. Oh and also, this is going to be HUGE so I'll post another journal later. Enjoy~!



Kakashi: I'm here! Now where's Iruka dressed in the playboy bunny outfit?

Tsunade: I'm afraid there's no playboy bunny outfits tonight, Kakashi. You see, this is...an intervention

Kakashi:...what? ;___; *heartbroken*

Asuma: Kakashi, you can't keep going on like this. Your problem is starting to hurt you, and the people you love; you need help.

Kakashi: I-I don't know what you're talking about, I don't have a problem!

Asuma: Don't lie to yourself Kakashi! We know, it's okay, you don't have to hide it anymore...

Kakashi: Seriously, I don't know what you're talking about. And you're hardly the one to talk about problems, Asuma; does the phrase 'smokes like a chimney' ring any bells for you?

Asuma:...that's not the point here.

Tsunade: The point IS, that this has to stop Kakashi. You see, we've noticed that smell whenever you walk into a room...and the new decorations around your apartment...and when we looked in your refrigerator, there was-

Kakashi: DON'T SAY IT

Tsunade: No, you need to hear this! Kakashi, you /have a problem/. You. Are addicted. to Pineapples.

Kakashi: NOOO! IT'S A LIE! YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING! DX

Tsunade: Please, Kakashi, don't make this as hard on yourself as Naruto did; he's /still/ in rehab for his Ramen problem, you know


Kakashi : H-How long has he been there? Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him in awhile-
Tsunade : Stop changing the subject!
Kakashi : I wasn't! I think it's a plausible questi-
Asuma : Looks like he's going to be difficult Tsunade-sama.
Tsunade : Looks that way.
Genma : I have that bed of senbon you asked for.
Kakashi : OAO;;
Raido : Don't worry Kakashi, it only hurts at first!

Kakashi : The fact that pain is involved at all worries me. PERIOD.
Gai : Oh Kakashi, my youthful, cool rival, the first step to fixing the problem is admitting you have one!
Kakashi : You read that somewhere?
Gai : . . . no.
Kakashi : Uh huh. But if we're going to get into problems, besides Asuma whom I've already mentioned, you're all wack! *panicking*

Tsunade : People who want to /help/ you. Now either you fess up that you're a quack or it's the bed!
Kakashi : I-I'm not insane! I just like the taste! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?!
Asuma : He's getting hysterical.
Kabuto : I'll tie him up -shiny glasses-
Kakashi : WTF? Kabuto?! Aren't you busy being Orochimaru's bitch?
Kabuto : That comes later, right now it's your turn.



Kakashi: B-BUT WAIT!! What about you guys?!
Tsunade: What /about/ us?
Kakashi: Don't play dumb with me! What about /your/ addiction to snails?!
Tsunade:...Excuse me?

Kakashi: Y-Yeah, that's right, I've seen the way you get with your precious snails! I bet you're even secretly French; whoever heard of a blonde Japanese?
Tsunade: -thinking- HOW DID HE KNOW? *coughs* Ahem. That's ridiculous, Kakashi, and in any case, we're not talking about other people's problems.
Gai: Help us help you, oh youthful rival!

Kakashi: Are you a walking Hallmark card today or something?
Gai: Why, what's wrong with Hallmark?
Kakashi:...nevermind. ANYWAY, the point is, I don't have a problem so I don't need help and- GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME WITH THAT ROPE, FOUR-EYES!
Kabuto: Kakashi, Kakashi, Kakashi...don't make this anymore painful than it has to be. Although, I don't mind a good struggle every now and then ^^



Kakashi : Get the FUCK away! I'm NOT CRAZY and I will not allow ANYONE TO TIE ME UP!
Tsunade : *long sigh as she shakes her head*
EOE : *long pause*
Kakashi : W-W-What? Why are you sighing? And why did everyone shut up when you di-
Orochimaru : -slithers down from the ceiling infront of Kakashi- Fun tiem~
Kakashi : Not only was that incredibly disturbing, you should never, I repeat NEVER say those words again.

Kabuto : -scratches under Orochi's chin- But it's cute.
Kakashi : -gag- Oh god, I've fallen into a sick and twisted demention.
Tsunade : -glances at Genma-
Genma : -nods-
Kakashi : -sees this- What was with the eye exchange? You guys are REALLY starting to scare-
Hayate's corps rolls in and hits Kakashi's feet
Kakashi : OAO .........
Tsunade : Oh, so /that's/ where he's been!

Genma : HAYATE! SWEETIE!
Raido : -annoyed twitch- *THINKING* I thought I got rid of that bastard for good but he always get more attention then me even when he's dead.
Kakashi : OAO ................... -starts to foam at the mouth-
Gai : -pokes Kakashi- OMGOSH! KAKASHI'S NOT ONLY INSANE, HE HAS RABIES!
Tsunade : Now we have to fix that too?



Kakashi: *backs away* I do NOT have rabies, you all are sick, sick and TWISTED, and I don't want /any/ help from YOU!
Iruka: -walks in- Kakashi?
Kakashi: OMG, Iruka, SAVE ME TTATT These people are insane, you have no idea what they were planning to do to m-
Iruka: Oh, has the intervention already started? Damn, and I even had it on my calendar, too...
Kakashi: O_e W-What? Y-You KNEW?

Iruka: Of course I did! Who else do you think set this up?
Kakashi: B-But WHY? WHY?!?!
Iruka: *sweet, murderous smile* Because I love you, of course. But lately you've been paying more attention to those damn /fruit/ than ME. ME. Sexy chuunin extraordinaire! I WON'T share MY man with /pineapples/!
Kakashi:...O_O You did NOT tell about any mental illnesses when we started dating.
Sandaime: Now, now, Kakashi-kun, this really is for your own good.

Kakashi: O_O! Y-You, aren't you /dead/?!
Sandaime: A minor technicality, and I'd appreciate if you didn't bring it up again. Kakashi, I know first hand what the power of addiction does to someone. You see-
Kakashi: I don't CARE, just let me-
Tsunade: *whacks Kakashi in the head* SHUT UP AND LISTEN.
Kakashi: @_@
Sandaime: Anyways. You see, I used to have a student with a problem. He...had an addiction to Cher and Michael Jackson tapes. I used to just play it off, figured he'd eventually get into Justin Timberlake or something, but I was wrong. The obsession only got worse as time went on, and when I finally realized how much of a problem he had, it was too late...Orochimaru had already gotten cosmetic surgery to resemble Michael Jackson, and had created a serum to give him Cher's hair



Sandaime : And because of his alterations to himself that created a freak of nature know as the MICHAELCHERJACKSON HYBRID, he couldn't stop grabbing his crouch in public and making weird virbrato noises in his throat that produced a sound that only small childern could hear-
Kakashi : You know he's RIGHT THERE . . . right?
Sandaime : -ignoring Kakashi- and the next we knew, all of Konoha's chidern started to dissapear. When we found them . . .

Kakashi : -suddenly interested- When you found them?
Sandaime : . . . . . .
Kakashi : W-What? TELL ME!
Sandaime : -looks away with a tear in his eye-
Kakashi : OMG! WERE THEY DEAD?!
Tsunade : We found them . . . ALL PLAYING TWISTER ON A GIANT, GIRAFF-SHAPED BED

Kakashi : OH YOU SICK BASTARD!
Orochimaru : What? I like to play twister! Plus, the winner got to be my servant for the rest of his life. I think that's quite the prize, don't you?
Kabuto : And guess who won?
Kakashi : Do I really need to answer that TAT;;
Orochimaru : This unbelievably flexible boy here won of course~ -gropes Kabuto-
Kabuto : Orochi-chaaan~

Kakashi : -looks away before he vomits everywhere- But Iruka, how could you betray me like this? I thought we had something special!
Iruka : We did, until you went and bought that fruit! Not only do you never pay attention to me anymore, it used my toothbrush . . . TO CLEAN THE TOLIET! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD TAKE IT'S SIDE!
Kakashi : T-That's not even possible! And I'm not taking anyone's si-

Iruka : YOU LOVE IT MORE THEN ME! -sobs into Hayate's corps due to it being closest-
Genma : Hey! That's my mummy!
Raido : I'd rather be jealous of a pineapple then a dead man . . .
Iruka : -bursts into the room- DON'T BE FOOLED KAKASHI, MY LOVE! THAT ISN'T THE REAL IRUKA!
Kakashi : O__< -twitch- W-WTF?! Two Iruka's?! Since when did you learn Kage Bushin?
Iruka : -looks up from corps- OMG! BROTHER

Iruka : THAT'S MY EVIL TWIN, UMINO DelFUAGO!



Kakashi: You...have a twin brother...
Iruka: Yes! Ever since we were children, he's always been jealous of me, and he always tries to take away my things! But not this time DelFuago, for I now have a power even greater than yours!
DelFuago: O_O No...i-it can't be..!
Iruka: But it IS! I am...SAILOR NEPTUNE!
Kakashi: /What/?!

Iruka: I'm so sorry I kept it from you Kakashi, but I had to, so that I could fight evil and not get charged with being a vigilante!
Kakashi:...You're a NINJA. You don't even need an excuse to kill people!
Genma: *hits Kakashi* Shut up! Are you /really/ going to argue against seeing Iruka in a mini-skirt?
Kakashi:...well, when you put it that way, I guess not.

DelFuago: Muahahahaha, you've fallen right into my trap, Sailor Neptune! Now /he/ knows everything!
Tsunade: *gasp* You can't mean-
DelFuago: YES, Tsunade, or should I say, SAILOR JUPITER! It is my master, Queen Chouji!
EOE:...eh?
-smell of barbecued meat suddenly fills the room-
Chouji: Hahahaha-omnomnomnom-hahaha! It is I, Queen Chouji! Destroyer of Worlds!

Shikamaru: Wrong franchise -_-;
Chouji: SILENCE! I can make whatever crossover I want, I'm the QUEEN, bitch!
Shikamaru:...whatever *bored*
Chouji: ANYWAYS. Sailor Neptune, now that I have finally found out your true identity, I can- um...wait, what does my knowing his true identity mean again?
Shikamaru:...*sigh* Torture him and his loved ones until he tells you the identity of the Moon Princess.

Chouji: Oh, right, yes. Tell me the identity of the Moon Princess now, Sailor Neptune, before I kill you all!



Iruka : -Sailor Moony pose- We won't let you get away with this!
Kakashi : -brain is broken- W-We? What do you mean /WE/?!
Iruka : SAILOR SENSHI! GATHER!
Tsunade : JUPITER STAR POWER!
Ebisu : PLUTO STAR POWER!
Kakashi : *preparing for seppuku*
Genma : MARS STAR POWER!
Hayate : Mercury star . . . power! *cough*
Kakashi : YOU'RE DEAD!

Orochimaru : VENUS STAR POWER *hissss*
Asuma : Don't forget me! MOON PRISIM POWER!
Kakashi : Oh . . . my . . . god.
Iruka : Kakashi! You need to transform! Without all the sailor senshi, the world will be destroyed!
Kakashi : I'm NOT a Sailor thing!
Iruka : Don't deny your destiny . . . SAILOR URANUS!
Kakashi : *suddenly in sailor fuku* Oh HELL no!
Iruka : YES! NOW WE NEED TO USE THE SHINOBI PLANET POWER!

Queen Chouji : I WILL NEVER BE omnomnomnom DEFEATED!
Shikamaru : I hope we are so we can go home . . . this is all too troublesome -bitch slapped with meat-
Queen Chouji : QUIET MAN SLAVE!
EbisuTsunadeGenmaHayateIruka : SAILOR PLANET POWER!
Kakashi : I really didn't have to do ANYTHING . . .
-large beam of heart-shaped, blindingly neon pink burst out of their kunai wands-

Queen Chouji : NEVER! -stuffs face with random cow leg- QUEEN CHOUJI -uh- MEAT SHIELD no jutsu!
Shikamaru : You WHORE- *killed by blast-
Iruka : Oh noes! Our planet power was thwarted!
Ebisu : The world is going to be destroyed!
Genma : Hayate! I'M HORNY
Hayate : -returns to being dead-
Genma : TTATT WWWWWHHHHHHYYYYYYY?!
Kakashi : -panicking- WHAT THE HELL IS EVEN GOING ON?!

Iruka : I-IT's too late to do anything now . . . with her humongous mass, Queen Chouji will destroy all of Konoha, and the world!
Kakashi : HOW DID WE EVEN GET TO THIS RETARDED PLOT?! I thought it was about me and my pinapple problem!
*Blinding light fills the room and everthing is back to normal*
Tsunade : See Kakashi, it wasn't THAT hard to admit your addiction, was it?
Iruka : *throws his arms around Kakashi dramatically, sobbing* I'm so proud of you!



Iruka: Yes, sweetie, and now that you've finally admitted it, the healing can begin!
Kakashi:...you put me in a SAILOR FUKU, made me say so retarded things, and forver burned my retinas with the sight of Chouji in a dress, to make me admit I had a problem? WTF IS /WRONG/ WITH YOU PEOPLE?!
Tsunade: Now now Kakashi, you should be happy! And thankful! This just shows you how much we care about you.

Kakashi: W-What about DelFuago or whatever? Iruka's twin?
Naruto: 8D It was me! I do a pretty awesome henge, don't I?
Kakashi: O_O...TT___TT What did I do to deserve this? Goddamnit, this is all OBITO's doing, isn't it?! He was always pissed because I got more ass than him!
Iruka: Kakashi, Obito's dead. Don't be stupid. *matter of fact*
Asuma: Yeah, seriously man, that's kind of sick. You should know better than to speak ill of the dead.

Kakashi: O___e /I'm/ sick? I'M SICK?! What the hell is with you people? You bring in the MichaelCherJackson Hybrid, threaten me with needles, cosplay a poorly dubbed 90's anime, and you call ME sick?
Tsunade: Jeez, don't get all irrational over this.
Kakashi:...irrational. /I'm/ irrational. Right. You know what, maybe I should go swallow a cup of bleach, THEN we'll see if I can be a bit more RATIONAL, okay?



Iruka : Kakashi, honey bun, would you rather drink bleach or pineapple juice? Tell me honestly.
Kakashi : Pineapple juice of course! Bleach would KILL ME.
Iruka : I-I . . . knew it! YOU STILL LOVE PINEAPPLES MORE THEN ME! And to think I let you do me through the back door TAT -disgusted expression-
Kakashi : Are you sure /you're/ not DelFuago?
Iruka : WHY?! YOU WANT DELFUAGO MORE THEN ME NOW?!

Kakashi : N-NO! I was just-
Naruto : *comforting Iruka* Kakashi! HOW COULD YOU?! You hurt Iruka-sensei's feelings!
Kakashi : And ALL of you broke my brain! Even trade /I/ think!
Tsunade : Now, as interventions go, will you willing accept treatment for your addiction?
Ibiki : Or do we have to do this the hard way?
Kakashi : T-Treatment? HOW DO YOU TREAT SOMEONE WITH A PINEAPPLE ADDICTION?!

Genma : Atleast he reconizes he has one now, that's always a good sign.
Raido : Yeah. Maybe he won't end up like Konohamaru . . .
Kakashi : What the hell did you do to Konohamaru?!
Gai : Oh my honorable rival! Konohamaru-chan wasn't able to admit his scarf fettish and-
Tsunade : GAI! You mustn't!
Gai : But I must! He refused treatment and found himself with . . .
Kakashi : OAO W-What?!
Gai : WITH

Kakashi : FUCKING TELL ME!
Hayate : With a bananna in his ear *COUGHHACKGAGdeath*
Kakashi : O___e H-huh?!
Iruka : You see, Bananna's make people happy, and if people are happy, then they don't need to turn to their issues for release!
Tsunade : So make a choice. Treatment, or the bananna?! If you refuse, just know it's NOT going in your ear



Kakashi: OAO...T-Treatment, I'll take the treatment! But I swear to god, if you stick ANYTHING in me where it doesn't belong, I will kill everyone in this room!

Iruka: There there now, the treatment is a totally simple, easy procedure. Even stupid, pink-haired lesbians could do it!
Sakura: You rang?
Tsunade: Okay Sakura, I know you have absolutely no sort of experience with this sort of thing, and if you screw up Kakashi could be a vegetable for the rest of his life, but I think I can trust you here.
Kakashi: O_O /What/?!?

Sakura: Don't worry Kakashi-sensei, I'll get rid of your addiction in no time! 8D
Kakashi: No! Don't get near me!
Asuma: Come on Kakashi, you said you would accept the treatment!
Kakashi: That was before I realized that you were going to have an untrained CHUUNIN be the one to 'help' me!
Iruka: What, do you have something against Chuunin now, is that it? IS IT?!
Kakashi: No! I mean, when my life is at stake, YES, I do!

Iruka: I knew it! TTATT I knew you hated me! All you wanted was sex!
Kakashi: No, that's not it at all, but right now you are /seriously/ scaring the shit out of me, Iruka.
Tsunade: Kakashi, don't take your frustration out on Iruka; we don't need another anger management case, like that poor, poor Inuzuka boy...

Kakashi: Wh- Wait, what about Kiba and anger management?
Tsunade: Oh, I've already said too much. Tsume asked me not to speak about her son's case in exchange for alcohol and sexual favors, so I'm afraid I can't breach that confidence.
Kakashi: O_O...*getting mental images* GAH! IT BURNS!
Jiraiya: Ohohoho Kakashi, that's no way for a TRUE pervert to react!
Kakashi: Where did YOU come from?!

Jiraiya: Your attic, where I have all the filming equipment set up in yours and Iruka's room
Kakashi: F-Filming equipment?
Jiraiya: Yep! You wouldn't BELIEVE how well gay porn sells these days! Women love it!
Kakashi: I- You- You /filmed/ me and Iruka having SEX? o___e That's ILLEGAL! I-I need a shower...
Tsunade: Kakashi, quit trying to run away from your problems!



Kakashi : I'd rather run away from /YOU/ people who are CAUSING ME PROBLEMS! I wasn't insane before this but afterwards-
Sakura : I'm all ready Tsunade-sama! -suddenly in a nurse uniform with a needle bigger then her head-
Kakashi : OAO . . . STAY . THE . FUCK . AWAY .
Iruka : Sugar lips, if you don't accept this treatment . . . HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN THE BANANNA?!
Kakashi : T____T *pulls out that seppuku set again*

Asuma : Now now, Kakashi, you can't just take the easy way out! That's for the weak!
Kakashi : Go choke on a cigarette while randomly combusting into flames Asuma!
Tsunade : Oh my, Kakashi, is that hostility I sense there?
Kakashi : Oh it's MORE THEN HOSTILITY >A<
Iruka : Sakura! Administer the treatment before we loose him forever!
Kakashi : Who said I was going anywhere?! *thinking* Even though I'd LOVE to be gone right now

Genma and Raido grab Kakashi's arms and bend him over Tsunade's desk*
Kakashi : W-What the hell are you-
Iruka : This is our last option 'Kashi!
Kakashi : W-WAIT! Don't stick that in me! PLEASE!
Sakura : Here comes the Choo Choo~

Kakashi : FUCK THE CHOO CHOO! ALL I WANTED WAS IRUKA IN A PLAYBOY BUNNY SUIT!!!
Iruka : Tough cookies.
Kakashi : OH GOD! LET ME EXPLAIN!
Tsunade : Oh? Explain what? Are you confessing to a crime now?
Jiraiya : This was totally worth not boning that grudge woman in the attic!
Kakashi : I ONLY LIKE PINEAPPLES BECAUSE THEY LOOK LIKE IRUKA'S HEAD!!!!



Iruka: Awwww, really? ;A; That's so sweet, Kakashi! Creepy, but sweet!
Sakura: So wait...does this mean I don't get to use my over-sized needly that suspiciously resembles a penis? D:
Tsunade: Pfffft, wow Kakashi, I knew you were weird, but seriously, you like pineapples because they look like Iruka's HEAD?
Kakashi: Sh-Shuddup TT^TT
Genma: How lame.
Kakashi: I don't want to hear it you stupid necrophiliac! DX

Genma: Shut up! How could you possibly understand mine and Hayate's true love, that trancends even death?!
Raidou: *sobbing loudly in the corner*
Kakashi: Yeah, well I have news for you buddy, 'true love' DOESN'T trancend the law.
Genma: You're just jealous! D<
Kakashi: What the hell kind of logic is /that/?! MY lover is still very much alive! Mentally unstable, but alive!
Iruka: Aww, you're so good to me :3

Asuma: Well, how do we KNOW that Iruka is the real reason Kakashi likes pineapples? I think we should still give him the treatment, just in case.
Kakashi: WHAT?! O_O Asuma, do you /want/ to see me in pain or something?!
Asuma:...yes TT^TT I can't help it, ever since Kurenai got pregnant, my life has been a living hell; I just want to see someoneELSE suffer for once X<
Kakashi: I thought we were friends! Jackass! I'm never making illicit deals with Grass Country for you EVER AGAIN! DX

Asuma: TAT
Sakura: Seriously you guys, doesn't ANYbody have a problem that can be solved with my needle?!
Sasuke: I was raped by my older brother ._|.||
Sakura: Sorry, you're too emo for this treatment.
Orochimaru: Sasuke! Baby! You've come back to me!

Kabuto: B-But Orochimaru-sama, what about me?! D:
Orochimaru: Don't be silly Kabuto, I can manage more than one underaged lover >3 There's plenty of me to go around!
Sasuke: I'm not even here for you! Shut up! I'm here for the only person I love, who understands me...Neji!
EOE: O____O
Naruto: You two-timing bastard! X< You said you loved me!
Kakashi: Wait, I thought you were in rehab?!
Naruto: NO YOU CAN'T SEND ME BACK THERE! I WON'T GO BACK!!! D8>
Sakura: Hey, you're vulnerable and addicted! 8D *readies needle*
Naruto: N-Nooo! Kakashi-sensei, save me!!
Kakashi: Fuck you, I'm not gonna get shot with THAT needle for you! DX



Sasuke : And a puppy flipped me off yesterday . . .
Kakashi : Oh shut the hell up you fuckface!
Iruka : Kakashi! Not infront of the childern!
Kakashi : What on earth are you talking about, fish boy?
Iruka : Oh? Is that a new pet name for me? TwT *unphased*
Kakashi : Jiraiya, please, just Rasengan me in the face and end all of this.

Jiraiya : No can do! Jupiter and I are about to get kinky in the basement and blood in a turn off for her >w<
Tsunade : You know me too well *girlish giggle*
Grudge Chick : Are we doing this or not?!
Jiraiya : Be right there muffin!
Tsunade : I thought /I/ was you're muffin?!
Jiraiya : N-No, you're my . . . UNIVERSE!
Tsunade : . . . W-Well, okay then.
Sanzo : How the fuck did we wind up here?

Hakkai : This . . . doesn't LOOK like India
Goku : THEY HAVE RAMEN!
Naruto : OMG! A KINDRED SPIRIT!
Sanzo : -wacks him with his fan- That's MY piece of ass!
Gojyo : . . . -stares at Genma-
Genma : . . . -stares at Gojyo-
Both : SEIYUU TWIN! -dramatically run into each other's arms-
Sanzo : We're not even supposed to be here you fuckfags!

Iruka : E-Excuse me. We're trying to help a dear friend of ours here so-
Kakashi : *mouths* SAVE ME
Sanzo : -stares at Iruka- Who's this pussy with my same voice?
Iruka : -in a state of shock-
Raido : -currently punching Hayate's corps's face-
Kakashi : OAO ........ OMG! THE REAL DelFUAGO!!
Sanzo : WTF?



Iruka: O_O
Sanzo: Don't just stand there dumbass, explain what the hell is going on! Are we even in Asia anymore?!
Hakkai: Now Sanzo, perhaps you should calm down and stop hassling these people- clearly they don't know any more than we do.
Gaara: You. With the monocle. Stop talking.
Hakkai: Why? o_O
Gaara: You're making my voice look bad, with all your politeness and smiles- it makes me SICK.

Hakkai: Um...I'm sorry?
Gojyo: Hey you little brat, don't fuck with my uke!
Genma: Eh, don't mind Gaara, he's just mad because his daddy didn't hug him as a child.
Gaara: I will /kill/ you.
Hakuryu: Kyuu! :
Gaara: *eyes Hakuryu* Hm...I've been craving gizzard lately...I suppose you'll do.
Hakuryu: Kyuu! Kyuu! O_O
Hakkai: O_O Excuse me? Leave my dragon alone! You couldn't afford his insurance anyway!

Goku: Hey, hey, I heard someone say something about food! When do we eat? OMG do they have manjuu here?!
Sanzo: *whacks Goku over the head with a fan* Shut the fuck UP, you stupid monkey! Do you want me to be even MORE rough in bed tonight?
Goku: N-No TTATT
Naruto: *looks at Sanzo, then Iruka* O___O I-Iruka-sensei, you'd never get like that, right?
Iruka: Of course not! I could never hurt a child!

Moegi: Hi Iruka-sensei!
Iruka: *vein pops* Except for you. *kicks Moegi* Get out of my house you little brat!
Sanzo: Oh please, like THAT'S gonna scare 'em. *brandishes gun* /This/ is the most effective method of child control.
Moegi:...you look like a girl. Are you wearing a dress?
Sanzo: *twitches, shoots areas around Moegi's head* Shut the hell up and get out of my sight!
Moegi: O__O H-Hai!



Kakashi : W-Wait! Moegi! PLEASE STAY! *thinking* then they'll kick your ass and I can make an escape
Iruka : I can HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS KAKASHI my LOVE O____O *looks into his soul*
Kakashi : TTATT G-God, anyone, help me!
Sanzo : The god's save no one.
Gojyo : Way to be positive there, Sanzo-/sama/.
Hakkai : -walks over to Kakashi and places a hand on his shoulder- You poor man. What did you do?

Kakashi : I just like Pineapples . . . because they looked like Iruka's head . . . THAT'S ALL TT___TT *sobbing like a little girl*
Hakkai : Oh my, you really /are/ a disturbed person. *no malice intended*
Iruka : That's what we're trying to fix!
Sakura : I just want to stick this needle somewhere TAT
Kakashi : *wipes away his tears to find Konohamaru's dead body hanging from the ceiling infront of him*

Konohamaru : X__X
Kakashi : OAO ........ WHY DOES TSUNADE HAVE ALL THESE CORPS'S LAYING AROUND?!
Iruka : *thinking* Damn, and I thought I hid it well enough too.
Sakura : *grins and sticks the needle in Konohamaru* FINALLY! RELEASE!
Genma : You're a sick, sick girl.
Sanzo : I think everyone in this room is pretty fucked up in my opinion.

Hakkai : I'd say that's an accurate assumption.
Gojyo : HEY! I'm not fucked up! I'm perfect~*sparkles*
Genma : That makes me perfect too . . . right?
Gojyo : Well, there is that whole you in love with a dead guy thing. You and my uke would get along. He has the hots for his dead sister.



Hakkai: K-Kanaaaan TTATT *emo mode*
Genma: Finally, someone who understands!
Gojyo: Oops...
Kakashi:...and /I'm/ the disturbed person here?! I can safely say that THIS guy *points to Hakkai* is quite a bit more disturbed then I am.
Naruto: *talking to Goku* So anyway, after escaping rehab I found this /awesome/ place where they give me all the ramen I want, as long as I let them have their way with me every night 8D Sweet deal, huh?

Goku: Wow, that DOES sound pretty good! Maybe I should-
Sanzo: *WHAP!* Don't even /think/ about it, dumbass, or you'd be dead before sunset
Iruka: How on earth do you get away with so much child abuse?!
Sanzo: Look at me. I'm a badass monk who NEVER dies no matter how bad his injuries are, and I have a scroll that OWNS everything- would YOU fuck with me over some little punk who deserves getting the shit kicked outta him sometimes?
Iruka:...No.
Kakashi: ANYWAY, where the HELL did you people come from?! You're OBVIOUSLY not ninja

Sanzo: Don't ask me stupid questions, fucktard, we obviously come from China!
Kakashi:...how the HELL is that obvious?
Sanzo: Because I fucking say it is now SHUT UP!
Hakkai: *sob* It's all my fault, I should I have died, I don't deserve to liiiive, why Kanan, whyyyy?? TTATT
Asuma: Dude, does he ALWAYS get like this?
Gojyo: When a dead chick is involved? Yeah, pretty much. But I usually heal all his emotional wounds with sex



Genma : Sounds like my relationship with Raido.
Raido : NO! YOU USE ME YOU PRICK!
Genma : See, like I said, it's the same.
Gojyo : . . . I don't see it.
Hakkai : G-Gojyo . . . Will you slap me around abit to make me feel better? Then rape me like a prostitute?
Gojyo : Only for you, Hakkai. Only for you.
Sanzo : You two are more fucked up then I thought.

Goku : Says the baldy monk who won't even buy me a manju TTATT I'd rather do what Naruto does!
Sanzo : What did I say about using your mouth to say useless things when it SHOULD be sucking my dick?!
Goku : I-I'M SORRY!
Naruto : I'm thankful, oh so thankful you're not like that Iruka-sensei.
Iruka : I dunno . . . His method DOES seem effective.
Naruto : OAO
Kakashi : Where has my sweet, innocent perfect Chuunin dolphin gone?! TTATT

Hayate : *cough*
Kakashi : GOD DAMNIT HAYATE! YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD! STAY THAT WAY!
Hayate : . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . *cough*
Kakashi : -kicks the corps*
Genma : Oh NO you DIDN'T! -shakes head like a black woman while snapping-
Kakashi : -rests hands on hips- Oh YES I DID.
Raido : J-Just calm down Genma! Look look! Ass to screw your anger out on!
Genma : Ass? Well . . . . okay.
Raido : He DOES love me

Kakashi : THAT'S love? I don't know the world anymore.
Sanzo : And it doesn't bother to get to know you either so shut it, old man.
Kakashi : -twitch- O-O-Old MAN?! WTFBBQSTFULOLBRBG2G?!
Sanzo : Your hair is grey . . . only old men and that guy from Card captors get's away with grey hair. THUS, you MUST BE OLD because I see no dark-haired guys around you with anger issues and sister complexes.



Kakashi: Wait, what about him?! *points at Hakkai* He has dark hair and a sister complex!
Sanzo: For one, Hakkai doesn't hang around you. He's only here until we figure out how the hell to leave. For two, he doesn't have anger issues unless he takes off his limiters or if some bitch tries to sleep with Gojyo.
Hakkai: *pauses emo-ness* For the record, I was perfectly within rights to kill them.

Gojyo: Of course you were Hakkai. No one will argue with you on that.
Kakashi: H-How on EARTH was he within rights to kill innocent women?! Don't you feel even a little bad that because you can't keep your hands to yourself, those women end up dying?!
Gojyo: Nah, it's nice to know that Hakkai cares so much
Kakashi:...You know what, I think I'm gonna go now.
Sakura: Oh, Kakashi-sensei, do you not feel well? I have another shot! 8D

Kakashi: NO. KEEP AWAY FROM ME!
Sakura: You're no fun T3T Aren't there any masochists around here who wouldn't mind having a giant needle stuck into him?
Kakashi:...no, there aren't. Since when the hell did you become such a sadistic freak anyway?
Sakura: Well, after Sasuke left and broke my heart, and I realized that I was ACTUALLY in love with Ino, my mind couldn't take the stress and I cracked =^-^=

Iruka: You know, I always thought you'd turn out to be a weirdo.
Sasuke: Hey, have you all forgotten about me?! What about MY problems?!
Sanzo: Kid, shut the fuck up before I kill you. *cocks gun*
Sasuke: Fine, go ahead and shoot me, put me out of misery!
Sanzo: *shoots Sasuke in the leg*
Sasuke: OOOOOW OOWWW OMFG I DIDN'T MEAN IT!!!! DX

Sanzo: *lights a cigarette* Well don't say shit you don't mean then. I don't fuck around.
Goku: Sanzo, if he dies, is it okay to eat him? D: *stomach rumbles*
Sanzo: No, it probably has rabies.
Goku: Aaaaw, you care about me?!
Sanzo: Fuck no! I just don't need my sex toy to get infected and die!
Goku: TT__TT
Naruto: Don't worry Goku, the pain of not being loved fades as time goes on; it helps when you have an unhealthy addiction to latch onto



Kakashi : Isn't that what we're trying to PREVENT here?!

THE END DAMNIT!






( Because I can . . . )

10:22PM


DA Information!


My Homunculii Name : Travesty


FRIENDS ON DA :



(If you want to be my friend and be added to this list, just say the word!)


CLUBS I OWN :


(All Under Construction)


SO CRUEL--->[link]


FANFICS :


FullMetal Alchemist - (Pairing EdxRoy) [link]

FullMetal Alchemist - (Pairing RoyxEd) [link]

Naruto - (Pairing SasukexNaruto / KakashixIruka) [link]


((WARNING)) All of the above FanFictions contain violence and/or sexual situations that should only be viewed by adults. I'll add to this list as I do more stories so look forward to it ok?

Cruel

10:08PM



Bought on yesterday, it's awesome. Can't change the emotion icon, NOT so awesome.

I know I'm alittle late in the day to be saying this, but I suppose it's not so bad since the hanabi outside just started to be shot into the sky So HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY! Moving on.

Before this lame excuse of a journal was in creation, I had written an entire book on the two weeks the Allana was out here but Internet Explorer decided to be a duche and just close for the hell of it so now I have no energy to re-write it any post this crap instead XD

MY SUBSCRIPTION IS GOD TTATT I'll miss it and it's awesome possum features, but I have no money to buy a new one since I'll be broke for probably the rest of this year T__T Paying off a truck that was flipped on it's side after a failed attempt at teaching someone to drive lol. Kyo's flipping out (my smaller cat) so it's time for me to wrap this up.

MEME TIEM! Beasiesgal posted this in her journal and I responded to it awhile back, and Allana just posted it today so it reminded me I have to do it too; now for the fun.

If you post a comment in this journal, I will answer the following questions about you shortly after.

a) tell you how I know you and a thing or two about whatever you have in your gallery OR Tell you why I friended you. (somebody changed it)
b) associate you with something - fandom, a song, a colour, a photo, etc.,
c) tell you something I like about you,
d) tell you a memory I have of you,
e) ask something I've always wanted to know about you,
f) tell you my favorite pic of yours,
g) in return, you must post this in your journal.




( Because I can . . . )

10:13PM


DA Information!


My Homunculii Name : Travesty


FRIENDS ON DA :



(If you want to be my friend and be added to this list, just say the word!)


CLUBS I OWN :


(All Under Construction)


SO CRUEL--->[link]


FANFICS :


FullMetal Alchemist - (Pairing EdxRoy) [link]

FullMetal Alchemist - (Pairing RoyxEd) [link]

Naruto - (Pairing SasukexNaruto / KakashixIruka) [link]


((WARNING)) All of the above FanFictions contain violence and/or sexual situations that should only be viewed by adults. I'll add to this list as I do more stories so look forward to it ok?

Cruel

10:25PM



Happy belated Friday the 13th and Happy day before Father's day X3 I picked this day because, just like the title of this journal says, it's the day in between ALSO, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY WISH ALLANA! I know I'll have plenty of oppertunites to say that next wensday and two weeks after that, but I wanted everyone to know and maybe get some more people to say it to you XD

COMMISSIONS : I've mailed out all my commissions, except the digitally created ones (they just need to be touched up and they'll be e-mailed to you peeps) so I'll be opening my commission services officially either tomorrow or Monday :3

Life's kinda boring right now . . . Realizing how much I miss Usagi-chan, Neli-chan and how rediculously excited I am for Wensday to come so me and Allana can chill has shown me that I'm not as much the recluse as I used to be. I want some friends out here, but people out here and myself just don't mix a lot of the time, and the job oppertunities here suck so I'm not really being social or anything with possible co-workers; even when I had the Subway job the other people just made me self-consious and feel bummed instead of welcomed.

*sigh* Anyway, I'm just thankful for friends like Brianna and Nanashi who let me talk to them on the phone despite my odd sleeping habits XD; SORRY I MISSED YOUR CALL BLOODLESS! I didn't check my phone until a few minutes ago and yeah, I saw I missed it and it's probably too late to call back right? I'm also sorta stressed to get a job thanks to my parents. Anywho, I'm kinda in a blaaaaah mood until Wensday unless something makes me uber happy like my gothic lolita dress being shipped or my leg warmers.




( Because I can ... )

10:35PM



DA Information!


My Homunculii Name : Travesty


FRIENDS ON DA :